Joke Which tire?

 They a story about a group of friends, who were so confident about their exams that they decided to go partying in the mountains the night before the exam. They had a great time. However, after all the partying, they slept in and missed their exam. They explained to the professor that they had gone to an old age home to spend some time with aged people, but they had a flat tire on the way back, didn't have a spare, and couldn't get help for a full day. As a result, they missed the final.

The professor thought it over and agreed they could make up the exam the following day. The professor placed them in separate rooms and handed each of them a test booklet, and told them to begin. They looked at the first problem, worth 5 points. It was the easiest question in their entire syllabus. "Cool," they thought at the same time, each one in his separate room. "This is going to be easy." Each finished the problem and then turned the page. On the second page was written: (For 95 points): Which tire?

There is no word “D’agah,” or worry in the Torah

 The Torah, the five books of Moses, is the cornerstone of Judaism. It may be surprising, but in the Torah there is absolutely no mention, in any form, of the Hebrew word “D’agah,” or worry.

The Torah, the eternal lesson in life from the very Source of life, seems to be intent on teaching how damaging and how devastating it is to worry. And so, the Torah just ignores it!

And there are many instances and cases for people in the Torah to have legitimate causes of worry. 

Reb Zushe - I don’t have anything difficult in my life

 The story is told about a follower of the great Rabbi Dovber, the “Maggid” or the Rebbe, of the Ukrainian town of Mezritch. The saintly Rabbi (who passed away in 1772) was the second leader of the Chassidic movement. The follower who came for a visit was poor, lived a troubled life, and struggled with maintaining a positive demeanor and attitude, and constantly worried about his plight in the unrelenting poverty and other challenges of Eastern Europe.

The Rebbe, the great Maggid, directed the poor man to the Ukrainian village of Anipoly, home of a star student of his, Reb Zushe, to receive guidance and direction in the art of being satisfied with his lot.

The man duly arrived at Reb Zushe’s home, and it was not a pretty sight. The residence was not much more than a rundown hovel at the edge of the town. A few rickety chairs around a very old table were the only pieces of furniture in this shack. The walls were wobbly, and the roof leaked. It was hard to imagine people living there. Poverty screamed from every corner of this shanty. I personally visited this village recently, and running water is still absent there. Some of the homes in this village seem to match the one in our story…

After spending a day or two in the presence of Reb Zushe, the follower shared with his host that he had been sent at the Rebbe’s suggestion, to learn how to deal with difficult situations. “Oh,” said Reb Zushe, “it is such a great honor that the venerable Rebbe thought of me. I just don’t quite understand why the Rebbe would send you to me to learn how to deal with difficulty when I don’t have anything difficult in my life to deal with?”

JK: Who's Phone is this?

 Man: Hello! Woman: Hi honey, it’s me. Are you at the club? Man: Yes. Woman: I’m at the shops now and found this beautiful leather coat. It’s only $2,000. Is it OK if I buy it? Man: Sure, go ahead if you like it that much. Woman: I also stopped by the Lexus dealership and saw the new models. I found one I really liked. Man: How much? Woman: $90,000. Man: OK — but for that price I want it with all the options. Woman: Great! Oh, and one more thing: remember that house I wanted last year? It’s back on the market. They’re asking $980,000. Man: Then go ahead and offer $900,000. They’ll probably take it. If not, we can go the extra $80,000 if that’s what you really want. Woman: Perfect! Thanks, honey. I love you! Man: Love you too. Bye.

The man hung up.

The other men in the locker room stared at him in shock, their mouths wide open.

He smiled and asked:

“Does anyone know whose phone this is?”

Prayer v Tefillah

 In English, “prayer” comes from the Old French word preiere — to ask, to entreat. That makes sense: we often think of prayer as asking G-d for what we need. But the Hebrew word — tefillah — tells a much deeper story. Tefillah comes from the root t-f-l — to attach, to connect. It’s not a transaction; it’s intimacy. It’s not just about what we need from G-d, but about the relationship itself.

Meaning of Life – Chayim Plural

 Meaning of Life – Chayim Plural So what is the meaning of life? What is its true definition? In Hebrew life is Chayim. In Hebrew words can be singular or plural interestingly the word Chayim is plural. What is the hidden message? The Rebbe expressed it beautifully: During a farbrengen attended by college professors and University students the Rebbe remarked that the Hebrew word for life, Chayim, which literally means “lives”, is in the plural rather than “life” in the singular. This comes to teach us an important truth. We are not truly alive until we think and care about others. Meaningful life for a human being doesn't exist in isolation but in plurality, shared with others. This reflects the teaching of the great Sage Hillel, legendary for his patience, tolerance and humility. He taught: “If I am only for myself what am I? The Needy and the Needed A once-wealthy chassid who had lost his entire fortune came to see Rabbi Schneur Zalman of Liadi. "If G-d has chosen to afflict me with poverty," he wept, "I accept the Divine judgment. But how can I can I accept that I cannot repay my debts? That I am unable to honor the dowry I promised for my daughter's marriage? Why is g-d doing this to me? "Rebbe!" cried the chassid, "I need your blessing!" Rabbi Schneur Zalman sat with his head in his arms in a in deep meditation listening to the chassid's tearful pleas. After a long pause, Rabbi Schneur Zalman lifted his head and said with great feeling: "You only speak of all that you need. But you say nothing of what you are needed for." The Rebbe's words pierced his heart, and he fainted. When the chassid opened his eyes he was a changed man and with a new found joy he devoted himself to a spiritual life. Several weeks later his Rebbe summoned him and, blessed him with success. In time, the chassid regained his wealth, made good on his debts and promises, married off his daughters, and resumed his philanthropy on an even more generous level than before

Joke: someone with incredible mazal

 GOOD LUCK

A young manager-in-training is shadowing a veteran at the company. Demonstrating

how he picks applicants for job interviews; the veteran picks out thirty resumes from a

stack of three hundred and throws the rest into the trash.

“Wait,” the young man asks, “there could be some really qualified applicants in

that stack you just threw out.”

“Maybe,” the older manager replies. “But the first thing I need around here is

someone with incredible mazal.”