The Jewish Perspective on Guilt

The Jewish Perspective on Guilt There is something special about a Yiddishe Mamme. • After all the money we spent on braces, is that the biggest smile you can give me? [Mona Lisa's Jewish Mother] • I don't care what you've discovered, you could have still written articles. [Columbus' Jewish Mother] • Of course I'm proud you invented the electric light bulb. Now be a good boy and turn it off and go to bed. [Thomas Edison's Jewish mother] • But it's your Barmitzvah photo. Couldn't you do something about your hair? [Albert Einstein's Jewish mother] • That's a nice “story.” So now tell me where you've really been for the last 40 years. [Jonah's Jewish mother]

Dead man walk through door

A defendant was on trial for murder. There was strong evidence indicating guilt,
but there was no corpse. In the defense's closing statement the lawyer, knowing
that his client would probably be convicted, resorted to a trick.
"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I have a surprise for you all," the lawyer said as
he looked at his watch. "Within one minute, the person presumed dead in this case
will walk into this courtroom." He looked toward the courtroom door. The jurors,
somewhat stunned, all looked on eagerly. A minute passed. Nothing happened.
Finally the lawyer said, "Actually, I made up the previous statement. But, you all
looked on with anticipation. I therefore put to you that you have a reasonable doubt
in this case as to whether anyone was killed and insist that you return a verdict of
not guilty."
The jury, clearly confused, retired to deliberate. He really caught them! A few
minutes later, the jury returned and pronounced a verdict of guilty.
"But how?" inquired the lawyer. "You must have had some doubt; I saw all of you
stare at the door."
The jury foreman replied, "Oh, we all looked, but your client didn't."

Jewish Guilt

My mother is a typical Jewish mother. Once she was on jury duty but they sent her home. Why? Because she insisted that SHE was guilty.