Joke -Nearing the End

A priest and a pastor from the local churches are standing by the road pounding a sign into the ground that reads: The End is Near! Turn Yourself Around Now Before it's Too Late! As a car sped past them, the driver yelled, "Leave us alone, you Religious nuts!" From the curve they heard screeching tires and a big splash. The priest turns to the pastor and asks, "Do you think the sign should just say 'Bridge is down'?"

The grown-ups

The Sunday school lesson had just finished and the Rabbi asked if the
children had any questions. Little David quickly raised his hand.
"Yes, David? What question would you like to ask me?"
"I have four questions to ask you, Rabbi. Is it true that after the children
of Israel crossed the Red Sea, they then received the Ten Commandments?"
"Yes, David."
"And the children of Israel also defeated the Philistines?"
"Yes, David, that's also true."
"And the children of Israel also fought the Romans and fought the Egyptians
and built the Temple?"
"Again you are correct, David."
"So my last question is, Rabbi, what were the grown-ups doing all this
time?"

Moshe Dayan One Eye - Joke

Stopped on one occasion by a military policeman for pushing the speed limit by driving 75 m.p.h. when the military speed limit was 44 m.p.h., Dayan said with a wry smile: "I have only one eye. What do you want me to watch—the speedometer or the road?"

walking through a sweltering hot desert - Joke

A Frenchman, an Irishman and a Jew are walking through a sweltering hot desert. The Frenchman says ‘I’m so tired, I’m so thirsty- I must have a glass of wine.’ The Irishman says, ‘I’m so tired, I’m so thirsty- I must have a glass of beer’. The Jew says, ‘I’m so tired, I’m so thirsty – I must have diabetes!

Which Way to Galilee? Do you know where you come from?

Which Way to Galilee? Do you know where you come from?

A young boy was traveling from Jerusalem to the Galilee. He arrived at a four-way crossroads and discovered, to his horror, that the sign had fallen down.

Now he had no way to know which road to take to reach his destination. What was he to do?

The answer was simple. He knew where he was coming from - Jerusalem. By arranging the sign so that Jerusalem pointed to the path he had just come from, he was able to figure out which way to go.

When we know where we have come from, we can know where we are going.