Wednesday, October 8, 2008

“He’s Already There” - Story

“He’s Already There”

Those who arrived early at the village synagogue on Yom Kippur eve could not but notice the man sleeping in a corner. His soiled clothes, and the strong scent of alcohol that hovered about him, attested to the cause of his slumber at this early hour. A Jew drunk on the eve of the Holy Day? Several of the congregants even suggested that the man be expelled from the synagogue.

Soon the room filled to overflowing, mercifully concealing the sleeping drunk from all but those who stood in his immediate vicinity. As the sun made to dip below the horizon, a hush descended upon the crowd: the Rebbe entered the room and made his way to his place at the eastern wall. At a signal from the Rebbe, the ark was opened, and the gabbai began taking out the Torah scrolls in preparation for the Kol Nidrei service.

This was the moment that the drunk chose to rise from his slumber, climb the steps to the raised reading platform in the center of the room, pound on the reading table, and announce: “Ne’um attah horeissa!” The scene—the crowded room, Torah scrolls being carried out of the open ark—seen through a drunken haze, appeared to the man as the beginning of hakkafot on Simchat Torah! The drunk was confusing the most solemn and awesome moment of the year with its most joyous and high-spirited occasion.

The scandalized crowd was about to eject the man from the room when the Rebbe turned from the wall and said: “Let him be. For him, it’s already time for hakkafot. He’s there already.”

Ripping Off the Kittel - Story

Ripping Off the Kittel
Yom Kippur 1945


The account below was related to me personally by Reb Leibel Zisman, a living witness to these unforgettable events. Leibel was 14 years old at the time, and his birthday is on Yom Kippur.

Yom Kippur Eve 1945/5706, Foehrenwald DP Camp, Germany.

The sun was about to set on Yom Kippur eve, the holiest day of the year.

But for us… For us it felt like Tisha B’av. Just a few months earlier we were living, if you can call that living, it was actually dying, in the unspeakable horror that was called the Gunskirchen Lager (concentration camp) in Northern Austria. It is impossible to describe the hundreds of dead bodies strewn about everywhere you turned throughout the camp. The hunger, the stench, the death, the insanity was everywhere. The Nazis, may their names and memories be forever erased, dehumanized us, turning us into ravenous sub-humans, desperate for a drop of water. Days would go by between a morsel of bread and paltry sip.

I was 14 years old when we were finally liberated on May 5, 1945. Orphaned, widowed, homeless – completely alone with no place to go – we wandered in what now appears a complete fog. But it all comes back to me as I tell the story.

We – some 5000 of us survivors – ended up in the Foehrenwald DP (displaced persons) Camp in Germany (southwest of Munich), where we spent Yom Kippur, together with the Klausenburger Rebbe, Rabbi Yekutiel Yehudah Halberstam, who tragically lost his wife and 11 children to the German beasts.

As night was falling that Yom Kippur eve all 5000 of us gathered in a makeshift shul for Kol Nidrei. As is the custom in many communities, the Klausenburger Rebbe stood up on the bimah (the platform in the center of the congregation) to share a few pre-Kol Nidrei words to awaken our hearts and prepare us for the awesome day ahead of us.

I will never forget what the Klausenberger Rebbe said that Yom Kippur eve 61 years ago. The moment was overwhelming.

With tears in his eyes he began by thanking G-d for saving our lives from the Nazi hell.

He then pointed to his kittel – the white linen robe that we traditionally wear on Yom Kippur – and began to speak (in Yiddish), slowly, deliberately, tearfully:

“One of the reasons we wear this kittel is because it is the traditional burial garment, in which we wrap a body before laying it to rest in the ground, as we do when we bury our parents and those that came before us. Wearing a kittel on Yom Kippur thus reminds us of our final day of judgment when we will be laid to rest. It therefore humbles and breaks our hearts, stirring us to do complete Teshuvah (return). The white, linen kittel is a symbol of purity that we achieve through our introspection and efforts to repair all our wrongs.

“Since the kittel reminds us of the burial shroud of those that passed on before us,” continued the Klausenberger, “why are we wearing a kittel today? Our parents and loved ones were just slaughtered without tachrichim (burial shrouds). They were buried, with or without clothes, in mass graves, or in no graves at all…”

Suddenly, the Klausenberger Rebbe began tearing off his own kittel, literally. “No kittel!” he cried out in an anguished voice. “Let us be like our parents. Let us remove our kittels, so that can recognize us. They won’t recognize us in kittels, because they are not wrapped in kittels…”

I have no words to capture the emotions pouring out of the grand Rebbe that first Yom Kippur after the horror.

Everyone gathered in the shul began to weep uncontrollably – men, women, old, young, every single person in the large hall. All our anguish, all our unbearable losses, all the humiliation and senseless dehumanization came spilling out of our guts.

It was an unforgettable sight: 5000 people sobbing. Nit geveint. M’hot ge’chlipet. Not sobbing; bawling. The floor was wet with the tears gushing from all our eyes.

What a stirring hisorerus (awakening) we experienced that Yom Kippur eve, what a remarkable hisorerus – it was unbelievable.

The Rebbe’s words rang in our ears, in every fiber of our broken beings – every one of us had just lost our closest relatives: fathers, mothers, brothers, sisters, uncles and aunts. We were indelibly scarred. The words rang out: “What do we need tachrichim for?! Your father, mother, brother, sister, aunt, uncle, zeide, bobbe – they are all lying mangled in mass graves. Or in no graves at all – burned to ashes… What tachrichim? What clothes? What kittel?!...

Picture the scene: The holiest night of the year. The awesome moment just before Kol Nidrei. All the Torah scrolls lifted out of the ark. 5000 broken Jews, left shattered, orphaned without families. The saintly Klausenberger Rav standing on the bimah, ripping off his kittel – “We don’t need it…”

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

G-ds Email - Joke

JOKE: ONE DAY G-D WAS LOOKING DOWN AT EARTH AND WAS A BIT DISAPPOINTED WITH WHAT HE SAW... SO HE DECIDED TO SEND AN ANGEL DOWN TO CHECK THINGS OUT. WHEN THE ANGEL RETURNED, HE TOLD G-D THAT IT REALLY WAS NOT A GREAT SITUATION…. HE SAID, “IT LOOKS LIKE 95% OF THE PEOPLE ARE NOT QUITE WHERE THEY SHOULD; AND MAYBE ONLY 5% ARE REALLY GOOD”….
G-D THOUGHT ABOUT THIS FOR A MOMENT AND DECIDED HE’D BETTER SEND DOWN ANOTHER ANGEL TO GET A SECOND OPINION… THE SECOND ANGEL RETURNED AND CONFIRMED WHAT THE OTHER ONE SAID: EARTH WAS DEFINITELY IN DECLINE, 95% NEEDED A LOT OF IMPROVEMENT/ / ONLY 5% RIGHT WHERE THEY SHOULD BE…
IN THINKING ABOUT WHAT TO DO ABOUT THE SITUATION, G-D DECIDED TO SEND AN E-MAIL TO THE 5% THAT WERE REALLY DOING GOOD – WITH A LITTLE PEP-TALK, YOU KNOW, TO THANK THEM – TO GIVE THEM SOME PRAISE, SOME ENCOURAGEMENT… TO KEEP THEM GOING.
DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT E-MAIL SAID?............................. YOU KNOW WHAT IT SAID?... NO?... GUESS YOU DIDN’T GET ONE EITHER, HUH?

TO SEE ELIYAHU HANAVI

READ BY HEART) THERE WAS ONCE A WEALTHY MAN WHO WAS A FOLLOWER OF THE BAAL SHEM TOV… THIS MAN HAD A FASCINATION WITH ELIYAHU HANAVI (THE PROPHET ELIJAH)… HE HAD HEARD THAT THERE WERE CERTAIN SPIRITUAL EXERCISES ONE COULD DO THROUGH WHICH ONE COULD ACTUALLY GET TO SEE ELIYAHU HANAVI WITH ONE’S PHYSICAL EYES… SO HE CAME TO HIS REBBE, THE BAAL SHEM TOV, AND ASKED FOR THE PROGRAM… "REBBE, I WANT TO SEE ELIJAH THE PROPHET…. PLEASE HELP ME DO IT"…
THE BAAL SHEM TOV PUT HIM OFF, BUT THE MAN PERSISTED; HE WOULDN’T GIVE UP… FOR MONTHS HE BEGGED THE TZADIK TO LET HIM SEE ELIYAHU HANAVI… HE OFFERED ENORMOUS SUMS OF MONEY, BUT THE BAAL SHEM TOV REBUFFED HIM…
FINALLY, A FEW DAYS BEFORE PASSOVER, THE BAAL SHEM TOV TOLD THIS MAN THAT HE WOULD GIVE HIM THE PROGRAM – ALLOW HIM TO SEE ELIYAHU HANAVI – ON ONE CONDITION: HE’D HAVE TO CARRY OUT HIS INSTRUCTIONS EXACTLY AS CONVEYED – WITHOUT DEVIATING ONE IOTA… THE MAN READILY AGREED... “SURE REBBE, I’LL DO EXACTLY AS YOU SAY.”
“OKAY,” SAID THE BAAL SHEM, “THIS IS WHAT YOU DO… TAKE TWO BOXES AND FILL ONE WITH ENOUGH FOOD, WINE AND REFRESHMENTS FOR MANY PEOPLE… THE OTHER BOX YOU ARE TO FILL WITH CHILDREN'S CLOTHING… THEN, ON EREV PESACH (DAY BEFORE PASSOVER) TRAVEL TO THE CITY OF MINSK… ON THE OUTSKIRTS OF TOWN, RIGHT BEFORE WHERE THE FOREST BEGINS, THERE’S THIS DILAPIDATED HOUSE... FIND THAT HOUSE, AND SHORTLY BEFORE CANDLE- LIGHTING TIME AT SUNSET, KNOCK ON THE DOOR AND ASK IF THEY WOULDN’T MIND PUTTING YOU UP FOR THE HOLIDAY."
THE MAN HEARD THE INSTRUCTIONS… HE INFORMED HIS FAMILY THAT BEING THAT HE WAS ABOUT TO SEE HIS LIFE’S DREAM FULFILLED, HE WOULD HAVE TO BE AWAY FOR THE FIRST DAYS OF YOM TOV… HE THEN WENT AND DID EXACTLY AS THE BAAL SHEM TOV SAID…. HE FILLED PARCELS WITH FOOD AND CLOTHING AND WENT TO MINSK, WHERE HE FOUND THE BROKEN-DOWN HOUSE AT THE EDGE OF TOWN… HE KNOCKED ON THE DOOR. WHEN THE WOMAN OPENED IT, HE ASKED IF HE COULD STAY WITH THEM FOR THE HOLIDAY.
"HOW CAN I WELCOME YOU WHEN I DON'T HAVE ANY FOOD IN THE HOUSE!?" SHE EXCLAIMED…
"WELL I HAPPEN TO HAVE SOME BOXES HERE WITH ME," HE SAID, "I HAVE ENOUGH FOOD FOR ALL OF US."… HE CAME IN, OPENED THE BOX AND, GAVE THE CHILDREN FOOD TO EAT... THEN HE OPENED THE OTHER BOX AND THE CHILDREN ALL TOOK CLOTHES FOR THEMSELVES – THIS ONE A SHIRT, THAT ONE A JACKET, THE OTHER ONE A HAT... HE WAS THERE FOR TWO DAYS, CELEBRATING PASSOVER WITH THIS FAMILY, ALL THE WHILE WAITING TO SEE ELIYAHU HANAVI… HE DID NOT EVEN SLEEP... HOW COULD HE SLEEP?... HOW OFTEN DO YOU HAVE A CHANCE TO SEE ELIJAH THE PROPHET?.. BUT HE SAW NO ONE…. ELIYAHU DID NOT APPEAR TO HIM…
HE RETURNED TO THE BAAL SHEM TOV AND SAID, "REBBE, I WAS IN THAT HOUSE FOR TWO DAYS AND DID NOT SEE ELIYAHU HANAVI AS PROMISED!"…
"DID YOU DO EVERYTHING I TOLD YOU?" ASKED THE BAAL SHEM TOV….
"I DID!" HE SAID…
"AND YOU DIDN'T SEE HIM?"….
"NO, REBBE."….
"ARE YOU SURE?"
"YES, REBBE!... I DIDN'T SEE HIM!"
"IN THAT CASE,” SAID THE BAAL SHEM TOV, “YOU'LL HAVE TO RETURN FOR THE SECOND DAYS OF THE HOLIDAY… GO BACK THERE WITH A BOX OF FOOD… AGAIN, BE SURE TO ARRIVE JUST BEFORE SUNSET, BUT THIS TIME DON'T KNOCK IMMEDIATELY... WAIT FOR A WHILE AND JUST STAND IN FRONT OF THE DOOR, LISTENING."
THE MAN ONCE AGAIN TOLD HIS FAMILY THAT HE’D HAVE TO BE AWAY FOR THE SECOND DAYS AS WELL… IT WAS TOUGH, BUT THEY ALL AGREED THAT IT WAS WORTH HIS BEING AWAY THIS ONE HOLIDAY IF HE COULD FINALLY GET TO SEE ELIYAHU HANAVI…
HE WENT BACK TO THAT HOUSE IN MINSK… HE STOOD IN FRONT OF THE DOOR, LISTENING…. INSIDE HE HEARD THE CHILDREN CRYING, "MOMMY, WE'RE HUNGRY! WE HAVEN'T EATEN THE WHOLE DAY!” … TO WHICH HE HEARD THE MOTHER RESPOND, "CHILDREN!... DO YOU REMEMBER WHEN YOU WERE CRYING BEFORE PESACH THAT YOU HAD NO FOOD OR CLOTHES?.. AND I TOLD YOU THAT G-D WOULD SEND ELIYAHU HANAVI WHO'LL BRING YOU FOOD AND CLOTHING AND EVERYTHING ELSE YOU NEED!... WASN'T I RIGHT?... DIDN'T ELIYAHU COME AND BRING YOU FOOD AND CLOTHING?... HE EVEN STAYED WITH US FOR TWO DAYS!... WELL, I ASSURE YOU THAT ELIYAHU WILL COME NOW, TOO, AND BRING YOU FOOD!"…
THE CHASID THEN UNDERSTOOD WHAT HIS REBBE, THE BAAL SHEM TOV HAD MEANT…. HE KNOCKED ON THE DOOR…

a lesson in fundraising

Reb Zalman Serebryanski, came to Australia after the war in 1948. He was determined to have Jewish life flourish in this outpost on the end of the Earth. He started a Jewish day school for which he needed to fund raise. He had a lesson in fundraising.

He said, that you will go to someone and ask for a donation. He will turn you down. [Yes, it does happen sometimes]. You should know that his Evil Inclination is talking. So you go back again, and again he turns you down. Again, you should know that his Evil Inclination is expressing itself. When it comes to the third time, you don=t want to go ask him again. You should know, that his Evil Inclination has climbed out of him and is now in you.

chasidic garb

There once was a Chasid who lived in Russia in a major city outside the Pale of Settlement. As he had a business for which the government had a need for, he was allowed to live in an area that was restricted to most Jews.

At home, although the Chosid had a beard and covered his head, his clothing was that of the regular person, i.e. short coat, regular hat etc. The Chosid would travel to his Rebbe a few times a year, and when he was by his Rebbe he would wear Chasidic garb, i.e. long coat, chasidic hat etc.

One time the Chosid thought to himself that this was hypocritical. >Am I trying to fool the Rebbe=, he thought. >I should dress by the Rebbe the same way I dress a whole year round.= And the next time he came to the Rebbe, he didn=t change his clothes and wore the clothes that he wore year round at home.

At the end of his visit, the Chosid had a private audience with the Rebbe. At the end of his audience, the Rebbe turned to the Chosid and expressed his disappointment in the Chosid=s garb. The Rebbe said, that he understands full well that the Chosid does not wear Chasidic garb when he is back home in the big city, and it is only when he come to the Rebbe that he puts on Chasidic garb. >But I always thought that the people back home were being fooled by your clothing. Now I see that it is I who was being fooled.=

Today is Yom Kippur. On Yom Kippur many of us act differently than we do all year round. Maybe we do things during the year and on Shabbos and Festivals, that we are more careful with and restrict ourselves from on Yom Kippur. So then who is the real person? The year round person or the Yom Kippur person. Are we fooling ourselves on Yom Kippur, or is the Yom Kippur person the real person and we disguise ourselves year round.

Monday, October 6, 2008

I FORGOT WHERE I LIVE - joke

THERE IS MAN AT THE PARK SITTING ON THE
BENCH CRYING... CRYING, SOMEONE
ASKED, WHY ARE YOU CRYING? HE REPLIED
I HAVE JUST MARRIED THIS BEAUTIFUL 30 YEAR
OLD GIRL, SHE IS WONDERFUL, SHE COOKS
DELICIOUS MEALS, SHE KEEPS THE HOUSE VERY
CLEAN, THE MAN ASKED: SO
WHY ARE YOU CRYING? THE ELDERLY MAN ANSWERED: I FORGOT
WHERE I LIVE.