tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-59573642596165066682024-03-08T05:10:56.563-08:00The Rabbi Candy BoxA smorgasbord of Stories, Parables and Jokes to enhance your SermonUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger363125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5957364259616506668.post-77251360279326396442023-09-26T08:28:00.003-07:002023-09-26T08:28:35.842-07:00A CAT AND MOUSE GAME<p> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-left: .5in;"><i>Late one
night in a Brooklyn bar, a mouse comes out of its hole and finds an open bottle
of vodka. Licking the bottle clean, the mouse falls into a drunken stupor. <o:p></o:p></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-left: .5in; text-indent: .5in;"><i>A little
while later, a cat passes by and sees the drunken mouse lying there. As the cat
inches closer to the mouse, preparing to pounce on it, it notices another cat
coming from the opposite door. In the ensuing scratching duel, the cats maul
each other; before long, both cats lie dead at the mouse’s feet. <o:p></o:p></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-left: .5in; text-indent: .5in;"><i>Waking
up the next morning to the sight of two dead cats, the mouse proudly says, “See
what I can do when I’m drunk…”<o:p></o:p></i></p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5957364259616506668.post-39959053199625784362023-09-26T08:26:00.006-07:002023-09-26T08:26:53.388-07:00What kind of Jews do you have? <p> <span style="background-color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin-bottom: 12.0pt; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;">So, the next time Schlamazal
or Schlemiel calls and asks “What kind of Jews live in ventnor , I have my
answer all ready. Here it is:<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin-bottom: 12.0pt; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;">We are wise Jews. Wicked Jews. We’re
those I’ll be your 10<sup>th</sup> man if you need me Jews. Those G-d is real,
but I am not sure what he wants from me Jews. We’re those always questioning
Jews. Those thinking Jews and let me tell you something Jews. Those old Jews.
New Jews. If you need a place for Shabbos you can stay with me Jews.</span><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin-bottom: 12.0pt; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;">Those always trying to make your
life just a little better Jews. We’re those twice a year you’ll find me in shul,
but I am Jewish all year long Jews. Those I would rather not, but since you
asked me, OK I will wrap tefillin Jews. Those I am little scared to admit it but
yes, I am a Jew, Jews. Those I just started keeping Shabbos in my college dorm and
why didn’t anyone tell me about this before Jews.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin-bottom: 12.0pt; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;">We’re those I’m an Israeli so don’t
tell me what to do Jews. Those yes, I am Haredi but not like the ones in the
movies Jews. Those English, Turkish, Yemenite and Moroccan Jews. Those Ashkenazi
blonde-and-blue-eyed but no I’m not a shiksa Jews. Those recently converted and
totally loving it Jews. We are 7<sup>th</sup> generation Charleston Jews. Soviet
era born and desperately trying to catch up Jews. Not yet but working on being
more shabbat conscious Jews.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin-bottom: 12.0pt; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;">Those I’m not religious but so proud
of being Jewish Jews. Those we don’t know why we’re still being persecuted Jews.
And I am a little afraid so I’m trying not to be too Jewish Jews. And those whenever
we’re murdered you probably think we had it coming Jews. But still, not afraid
to wear my Star of David Am Israel Chai Jews.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin-bottom: 12.0pt; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;">We’re those you don’t want to hear
this, but I don’t care what you think Jews. Those bullied in high school
because I was rocking a yarmulke Jews. Those standing up to Jew hater Jews. Those
I think you got it all wrong, but I respect and love you cause you’re my brother
Jews.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin-bottom: 12.0pt; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;">We’re those Iron Dome cheering
where were you BBC when the missiles were raining down on Tel Aviv Jews. Those if
you’re a hater you can just get off my Facebook page Jews. Those we’re sick of
your double standards and that UN stands for Useless Nations to me Jews. That
will fight it out if you have a problem with me Jews. And we desperately want
to just live side by side in peace with you Jews.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin-bottom: 12.0pt; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;">We’re those always needing to
explain that chosen doesn’t mean better Jews. Those let’s figure it out
together Jew. Those there’s never, ever just one answer Jews. Those I don’t
know which way to hold a siddur but I just like being in shul with other Jews, Jews.
Those psychoanalytical and let me tell you something about you and your mother
Jew. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin-bottom: 12.0pt; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;">We’re those look how many Nobel
Prizes we won Jews. Those OMG OMG did you know that Houdini, Pink, Wonder
Woman, Scarlett Johansson, Drake, Harry Potter, Indiana Jones, Jonas Salk (the
polio vaccine guy) were Jewish, Jews. Those and did you know that we invented stuff
that’s part of your everyday life but you don’t even know it Jews. Those I was
born in the USA but my daughter wants to fly jet F-16’s for IDF. Those I don’t know
the difference between Bibi and Bamba but I believe in my people to do what is
right Jews.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin-bottom: 12.0pt; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;">We’re those lox and bagel noshing falafel
& hummus eating couscous, schnitzel, latkes & matzah ball soup scarfing
Jew. We’re those hey you BDS Israel’s the only liberal democracy in the Middle
East Jew. We’re those I became a refugee when my ancestors were kicked out of
Arab lands Jew.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin-bottom: 12.0pt; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;">We’re those I’m totally not
religious but rush home every Thursday night to study Talmud on Zoom Jews. Those
taking my tuna on matzah lunch wrapped in tin foil to public school on Passover
Jews. Those I may not always eat kosher, but I won’t touch bacon Jews. Those
looking for the truth forever wandering Jew. Those I just want my child married
under a chuppah and give me Jewish grandchildren Jews. Those I walked out of
Auschwitz and was afraid for too long until I stood at the state house and lit
the menorah Jews.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin-bottom: 12.0pt; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;">We’re those I’ll bet I am more
religious that you Jews. And those I’ll bet you are, but I love you anyway Jews.
Those with a picture at the wall of a chossid and a soldier in arms at the wall
Jews. My son’s an IDF hero Jews. Those you may kill me, but you won’t kill my
dream Jews. Those I’ve never been to Israel, but I’ll get there someday because
it’s my homeland Jews. Those it’s almost 4000 years and we’re still standing
Jews. Those we’re finally here standing at the western wall with a tear in my
eye Jews.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin-bottom: 12.0pt; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;">We’re those I won’t apologize for
surviving Jews. Those fighting to make USC understand that scheduling major
programs on YK isn’t cool Jews. Those never ever again Jews. Those I won’t rest
until every Jewish child in Columbia has an excellent Jewish education Jews. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin-bottom: 12.0pt; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;">We’re a mother of 6 and still wish
there were more of us Jews. Those creative Jew. Those dancer Jews. Painter Jews.
Those grandchildren of those who suffered so we would just make it Jews. Those
but I wish they would have taught me Yiddish Jews.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin-bottom: 12.0pt; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;">We’re those everything’s part of
Hashem’s plan and I’ll keep looking for the answer Jews. Those we’re going to
be okay because Moshiach is coming so hang in there and do another mitzvah Jews.
Those I believe human dignity will prevail, and the world is made up of decent
people Jews.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin-bottom: 12.0pt; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;">So to Shlomie and Schlemazal and
to all the other who want to label us I say, we’re not religious, we’re not orthodox,
we’re not cultural, spiritual, or secular Jews. We’re not </span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;">centrist Orthodox or </span><a href="https://www.myjewishlearning.com/article/orthodox-judaism-today/" target="_blank"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-themecolor: text1;">Modern Orthodox</span></a><span class="MsoHyperlink"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;">, Open Orthodox, Closed Orthodox, or even slightly
ajar Orthodox. We are not</span></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;"> nondenominational,” “trans
denominational,” “post-denominational” we are j</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;">ust authentic, Jews. And we are here today because we’re
Jews, no more no less. That’s all, and that’s enough.</span><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5957364259616506668.post-50919431118330343282023-09-26T08:25:00.002-07:002023-09-26T08:25:08.020-07:00Burnt Soldier - A Mother’s Love<p> <b style="text-align: justify;">A Mother’s Love</b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 120%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt; text-align: justify;">During the YK War, Chief rabbi of
Israel, Israel Meir Lau, became the rabbi of the Ichilov Hospital in Tel Aviv,
which turned into a military hospital. The hospital took in 475 wounded
soldiers, all of them from the Suez Canal, all of them in critical condition.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 120%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt; text-align: justify;">(One of the wounded, whose right arm
had been crushed, was a young medical student, a religious boy named Naftali
Rubinstein who wanted to be an orthopedist. He said to me, “My career is over.
If I am ever able to lift a spoon to my mouth, it will be a miracle. I don’t
dream of ever being able to perform surgery.” Today, Naftali Rubinstein is the
head of the orthopedic department at Ichilov.)<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 120%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt; text-align: justify;">One boy, Rabbi Lau shared, was stuck
in a tank that the Egyptians burnt. The soldier was brought into the hospital,
burned from head to toe and could not stop screaming in pain. All the morphine
in the world could not calm him. With his crying from pain, none of the other
patients could sleep. The nurses begged him to calm down, his roommates nudged
him, I tried to speak to him, but nothing helped. The pain was harrowing. His
body was all charred, so if you tried to touch him, he would yell. One day, his
mother came to the ward, sat down beside him, and found a tiny patch of natural
skin on one of his legs. It was, sadly, the only natural skin he had left on
his poor body. She placed her finger on that pot, and stroked it slowly,
lovingly, and murmured, “Calm down, my sweetheart. Rest, my love, you need to
sleep so that you’ll have the strength to become healthy. It’s Ima speaking to
you; sleep, my child. You’re not alone. I am here with you,” a whole time
caressing that single tiny patch of natural skin.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 120%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt; text-align: justify;">Three minutes later, the boy fell
asleep for the first time since the war, and there was silence in the ward. All
of us were in tears.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 120%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt; text-align: justify;">Rabbi Lau said: I then understood the
verse in Isaiah (66:13), “Like a man whose mother comforts him, so I will
comfort you.” We marveled at the instinct of a mom to tune-in to that single
spot in his charred body that she could hold and caress. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 120%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt; text-align: justify;">What a profound lesson. You sometimes
encounter someone who may be emotionally forlorn, burnt by life, by the system.
But there is always one spot, maybe tiny spot, in the soul that remains
uncharred. Caress it, and he will return to life.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 120%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt; text-align: justify;">And it’s so true about our nation.
People are sometimes pessimistic about our future. They say that Jews are too
indifferent. The truth is: In every Jew there is a patch of holiness and passion
that no fire and no water can ever destroy. Every Jew is sacred, every Jew is
eternally connected. Our job is to “caress” that spot—and help every one of our
brothers and sisters rediscover their truest and deepest self.<o:p></o:p></p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5957364259616506668.post-21290524261695601632023-09-26T08:24:00.000-07:002023-09-26T08:24:16.348-07:00Arab Remembers Honesty of Jews Fifty Years Later<p> <b>Arab Remembers Honesty of Jews Fifty Years
Later</b></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 120%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 120%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt;">A powerful story (<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0ltu-PioKm0">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0ltu-PioKm0</a>):<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 120%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt;">A Jewish fellow by the name of Steve Clar,
from Arcadian Development Group, a company that develops, builds and renovates
nursing homes, was traveling to Kentucky. He was exhausted and entered a gas
station to get a coffee. He hears the owner speaking Arabic on the phone, so
when the owner asks Steve how he’s doing, he answers: Hem-Di-Lilah, thank G-d
in Arabic. The man was shocked that a Jew with a kipa knows Arabic. They strike
up a conversation and the man tells him: I’m in love with the Jewish people.
Why?<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 120%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt;">I grew up in Ramallah, in Israel. We were 10
brothers and sisters; we lived in one room in a refugee camp. We were a poor
family, no bread, nothing at home. To help support my family I had to travel to
Jerusalem. In Jerusalem there is a corner where you can stand, and if people
need any labor, they pick you up from there. There was a Jewish guy, a
contractor, Moshe, who hired me to paint houses; I made a nice income and
brought back food for my family. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 120%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt;">But then suddenly the Yom Kippur War broke out
in 1973. The Arabs launched a surprise attack, and they closed immediately all
the borders, we couldn't travel to Jerusalem to find work. The war ended but
we're still afraid to go into Jerusalem to get work. We were so poor. No food
stamps in our city… when you have no bread, you starve. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 120%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt;">Ad then suddenly one day, the Israeli Army
enters Ramallah and they're asking for my name, they're looking for me.
Everybody's scared they are going to arrest me. They found my house, they
knocked on my door, I was petrified. Sudddenly, I see, who comes out of the
army jeep? My contractor, Moshe, who was also a reserve General in the Israeli
army, and managed to get a few soldiers to escort him to our home in Ramallah. Moishe
stuck his hand into his bulletproof vest, took out an envelope, and handed it
to me, and said: Here's your last paycheck; I'm sorry I wasn't able to pay you till
now, because of the Yom Kippur War. I was blown away.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 120%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt;">50 years passed, and here you, a proud Jew
comes into my gas station in Kentucky. I can’t tell you how much I love Jews. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 120%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt;">I live in Kentucky today. I am very affluent.
I own more than 24 gas stations and build parking lots and truck stops. The man
is a tycoon. But I want you to know, that the pay check he game me 50 years ago,
which consisted of maybe 60-70 dollars is worth more to me than the millions I
make now each year. I swear, if I knew his last name, I’d go to Israel, search
for him and give him a long hug and kiss! I want to tell him: you taught me the
most sacred lesson in my life.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 120%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt;">(Shortly after the YK war, my family moved to
Kuwait. We built a construction company,
we were very successful. Then in 1990 Saddam Hussein attacked and
invaded Kuwait. His army came in and stole everything we owned; they took
everything, even my car, my bank account. Everything! I could not buy milk for
my kids. And these were our Arab brothers. I thought to myself, wow, look at
the difference between the Jewish guy, Moshe, who after two months of war came
with the army looking for me to give me my paycheck, so I can feed my brothers;
while in Kuwait they took everything from me.)<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 120%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt;"><i>Here is an Arab who understands the gift of
being a Jew and living Judaism.<o:p></o:p></i></p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5957364259616506668.post-41980827761201496612023-09-26T08:13:00.007-07:002023-09-26T08:13:55.236-07:00HILTON Towel<p><i>Teddy came home from camp missing his
beautiful, large, fluffy towel. The mother calls camp: You guys allow thievery.
Someone stole my son’s towel. You guys should be ashamed of yourself and close
down your camp.</i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 120%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt;"><i>The camp director responds: Relax. Nobody
stole it. It was probably lost. Let me search for it. Would it have any
identifying sign on it?<o:p></o:p></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 120%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt;"><i>She says, of course. It says in big words:
HILTON.<o:p></o:p></i></p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5957364259616506668.post-6535682091853025812023-09-26T08:13:00.000-07:002023-09-26T08:13:11.386-07:00The lie detector<p> <i><span style="color: #2a3c42; font-family: "Calibri",sans-serif; font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 120%; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Moscowitz
decides there is too much lying in his home. So he buys a lie detector, an AI
robot that beeps every time someone utters a lie.</span></i></p>
<p style="background: white; line-height: 120%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt;"><i><span style="color: #2a3c42; font-family: "Calibri",sans-serif; font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 120%; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">That
night, mom asks their daughter Shirley, “did you clean up your room? Last time
I checked, it looked like a hurricane hit it?”<o:p></o:p></span></i></p>
<p style="background: white; line-height: 120%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt;"><i><span style="color: #2a3c42; font-family: "Calibri",sans-serif; font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 120%; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Of
course, mom! My room is spotless. <o:p></o:p></span></i></p>
<p style="background: white; line-height: 120%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt;"><i><span style="color: #2a3c42; font-family: "Calibri",sans-serif; font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 120%; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">--Beep!<o:p></o:p></span></i></p>
<p style="background: white; line-height: 120%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt;"><i><span style="color: #2a3c42; font-family: "Calibri",sans-serif; font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 120%; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">ooops…
Yes, mom, I was actually on tic-tac. <o:p></o:p></span></i></p>
<p style="background: white; line-height: 120%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt;"><i><span style="color: #2a3c42; font-family: "Calibri",sans-serif; font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 120%; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Okay.
Timmy, mom says, have you done your school work tonight? You have a big exam
coming up!<o:p></o:p></span></i></p>
<p style="background: white; line-height: 120%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt;"><i><span style="color: #2a3c42; font-family: "Calibri",sans-serif; font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 120%; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">--Of
course, mom!<o:p></o:p></span></i></p>
<p style="background: white; line-height: 120%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt;"><i><span style="color: #2a3c42; font-family: "Calibri",sans-serif; font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 120%; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"> --Beep!<o:p></o:p></span></i></p>
<p style="background: white; line-height: 120%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt;"><i><span style="color: #2a3c42; font-family: "Calibri",sans-serif; font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 120%; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Oops….
mom, I was actually watching a movie.<o:p></o:p></span></i></p>
<p style="background: white; line-height: 120%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt; tab-stops: 206.45pt;"><i><span style="color: #2a3c42; font-family: "Calibri",sans-serif; font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 120%; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Was it an appropriate and clean movie? <o:p></o:p></span></i></p>
<p style="background: white; line-height: 120%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt;"><i><span style="color: #2a3c42; font-family: "Calibri",sans-serif; font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 120%; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">--Of
course, mom.<o:p></o:p></span></i></p>
<p style="background: white; line-height: 120%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt;"><i><span style="color: #2a3c42; font-family: "Calibri",sans-serif; font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 120%; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Beep!<o:p></o:p></span></i></p>
<p style="background: white; line-height: 120%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt;"><i><span style="color: #2a3c42; font-family: "Calibri",sans-serif; font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 120%; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Dad
is outraged. “I never watched such inappropriate stuff when I was your age.”<o:p></o:p></span></i></p>
<p style="background: white; line-height: 120%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt;"><i><span style="color: #2a3c42; font-family: "Calibri",sans-serif; font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 120%; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Beep!<o:p></o:p></span></i></p>
<p style="background: white; line-height: 120%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt;"><i><span style="color: #2a3c42; font-family: "Calibri",sans-serif; font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 120%; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Mom
looks at dad and says: Well, he’s certainly your son.<o:p></o:p></span></i></p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5957364259616506668.post-24837973703006357502023-09-26T08:12:00.000-07:002023-09-26T08:12:19.299-07:00 The Story of Bats - They Fall not Fly<p><br /></p>
<p class="element" style="background: white; line-height: 120%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: #031325; font-family: "Calibri",sans-serif; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Did
you ever try hanging yourself upside down? It’s fun for a few seconds, but
after a while it will become difficult because the blood will rush straight to
your head. There is one mammal, one animal, that sleep upside down: bats.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="element" style="background: white; line-height: 120%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: #031325; font-family: "Calibri",sans-serif; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">The
reason is fascinating. The only mammal in the world that can fly are bats. But
while bats can fly, they can’t take off. Technically they are mammals and
not birds, or insects, so they can’t just take off and fly. Birds can take off
from a dead stop by simply flapping their wings, and raising themselves, but
bats can’t. Birds’ wings are long and feathered and can
generate enough thrust to achieve liftoff, but bats’ wings are basically
large, webbed hands. Once airborne, a bat can use these webbed hands to
sustain the flight over long distances and steer seamlessly, but they
have a problem: they can’t do the necessary flapping to take off. Bats also cannot run so it would be almost
impossible for them to take off from the ground. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="element" style="background: white; line-height: 120%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: #031325; font-family: "Calibri",sans-serif; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">So
what do bats do if they can fly, but can’t take off? <b>The answer is they
don’t take off -- they fall down! <o:p></o:p></b></span></p>
<p class="element" style="background: white; line-height: 120%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: #031325; font-family: "Calibri",sans-serif; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Bats
sleep upside down. Their claws effortlessly “click on” to the branch they want
to hang from, and they enjoy a peaceful, relaxed rest. (Because they are so
compact, the circulation is also not a challenge.) When they wake up and want
to begin their “day,” bats do not need to generate lift to begin flight. They
just drop out of their bed, open their wings and off they go. In fact, the
momentum generated by their fall becomes the impetus that allows them to fly!<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="element" style="background: white; line-height: 120%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt; text-align: justify;"><b><span style="color: #031325; font-family: "Calibri",sans-serif; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Creating
the Thirst<o:p></o:p></span></b></p>
<p class="element" style="background: white; line-height: 120%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: #031325; font-family: "Calibri",sans-serif; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Now
we can understand the words of the Talmud about repentance. When I repent out
of fear, my sins are considered mistakes. Because as it turns out, I did not
understand the implications, hence I transgressed. So it is considered an
accidental fall. I hurt myself, but it was an accident. It was not malicious.
It was ignorance. G-d forgives mistakes. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="element" style="background: white; line-height: 120%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: #031325; font-family: "Calibri",sans-serif; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">But
if I do teshuvah with love, with enthusiasm and excitement, when I find a
passion in my relationship with my soul, my G-d, my spouse, my
authenticity—says the Alter Rebbe—then I discover that the very falling down is
what allowed me to fly!<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="element" style="background: white; line-height: 120%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: #031325; font-family: "Calibri",sans-serif; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Because
the very downfall creates a thirst, an honesty, humility, yearning,
authenticity, pining, that allows me to connect with my own truth, with other
people, and with G-d, in a way I could have never achieved before. Knowing the
pain of darkness, is what fuels my passion for the good and the true. <o:p></o:p></span></p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5957364259616506668.post-33779533538773070592023-05-16T09:53:00.002-07:002023-05-16T09:53:13.717-07:00STORY: ROOM SERVICE FEE<p> Two Jewish merchants in olden day Europe were travelling home from fair. It was late on</p><p>Friday, but the roads were icy and muddy. To their dismay, they realized they were going to have</p><p>to stop for Shabbos somewhere along the way. With no other choice, they stopped at a nearby</p><p>town, and knocked on the first door they spotted with a mezuzah on it, mortified at showing up</p><p>uninvited to someone’s house. But Shabbos is Shabbos, and you must do what you must do.</p><p>When an old man came to the door, the merchants excused themselves for showing up so late</p><p>and uninvited. The host told them they were welcome to stay with him—but only for the price of</p><p>five-hundred rubles. The men looked at each other in disbelief—“That’s more expensive than the</p><p>Four Seasons!”—but with no other choice they forked over the money and got ready for the holy</p><p>day.</p><p>Returning home from shul that night, they found a beautiful table laden with delicacies.</p><p>Having paid so much money for the privilege, they figured they might as well get comfortable</p><p>and enjoy themselves. And what a feast it was. They shared words of Torah with their host, sang</p><p>niggunim, and ate and drank more heartily than they had in a long time. This repeated itself the</p><p>following morning and afternoon.</p><p>As they said goodbye after Shabbos, the host handed them back a purse with all the</p><p>money they paid. “This is yours,” he said simply. The men were baffled. “What do you mean?”</p><p>they asked “Wasn’t that the fee for our lodging here?”</p><p>The man explained: “When you arrived at my door yesterday, I could tell you were</p><p>uncomfortable. You didn’t want to bother me, and you didn’t want to spend Shabbos in a</p><p>stranger’s home. But I wanted to you to enjoy your stay and feel like you belong here—and the</p><p>only way I could think of was to have you pay for it! If you paid for it, you would no longer feel</p><p>like I was doing you a favor. As you can see, it worked—I saw how much you enjoyed</p><p>yourselves! Now that you’ve enjoyed Shabbos, you can take the money back—and I’ll take the</p><p>mitzvah.”</p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5957364259616506668.post-671362333481095652023-05-16T09:51:00.007-07:002023-05-16T09:51:54.271-07:00Two hours before Shabbos<p> Two hours before Shabbos on a long summer Friday afternoon, Moshe, like thousands of</p><p>other Brooklyn Jews, is racing up to the Catskills to join his family for Shabbos. Up</p><p>ahead he spots a car stalled on the side of the road with a flat tire, and a yarmulke-clad</p><p>driver standing next to it trying to figure out what to do. “Oy,” Moshe thinks to himself,</p><p>“if I don’t help him out, he’s going to be stuck for Shabbos.” With that, Moshe brings his</p><p>car to a screeching halt and helps the poor man put on his spare.</p><p>As the two men part ways, Moshe sticks out his hand and says warmly, “have a</p><p>good Shabbos!” The other driver just stares at him blankly. Moshe tries again in</p><p>Hebrew—“Shabbat Shalom!”—and Yiddish—&quot;Git Shabbos!”—but to no avail; the man</p><p>has no idea what Moshe’s saying. Exasperated, Moshe says, “Are you Jewish?!” The</p><p>driver answers in the negative.</p><p>“So why in the world are you wearing that yarmulke on your head,” Moshe</p><p>demands.</p><p>“Oh,” the man explains, “my mother taught me that. She was a devout Catholic,</p><p>but she once told me that if I ever get in trouble I should put on one of these little black</p><p>caps, and some Jew will come help me!”</p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5957364259616506668.post-81662555574803646082023-01-08T19:54:00.003-08:002023-01-08T19:54:55.454-08:00Ellas Songs<p> </p>
<iframe style="border-radius:12px" src="https://open.spotify.com/embed/playlist/3TF0vQI8fRe7pbDEkldG4D?utm_source=generator" width="100%" height="352" frameBorder="0" allowfullscreen="" allow="autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; fullscreen; picture-in-picture" loading="lazy"></iframe>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5957364259616506668.post-83916998500312149452022-10-03T22:04:00.005-07:002022-10-03T22:04:36.678-07:00i want to dies a jew<p> Rabbi Chaim Slavititzky - matzah for a women - </p><p>" i am the rude lady from the doc office a few months ago"</p><p>My father is in hospital only hours to live - only 48 hours to live</p><p>Your the only Rabbi I know</p><p>Rabbi Went to Hospital.</p><p>"im confused as why my dad is suddely interested in a Rabbi... we never did anything Jewish"</p><p>Ronnie ask both daughters to leave room - "Rabbi, I was born a jew... i want to dies a jew"</p><p>Rabbi - I will do a Jewish Burial... may says no I want to have bris.</p><p>Rabbi- says im not a mohel</p><p>Calls a Mohel before Rosh Hashanah (man only had 48 hours to live)</p><p>"Ronnie, I found a mohel"</p><p>Nurse - not happenig - what are you worried about, ill die?</p><p>Samantha (daugter) found out - my dad lost it in his last days</p><p>Legal - Dept - if you find a doctor, a mohel</p><p>6 hours before rosh hashanah - Ronnie became Avrohom</p><p>Chaim stayed with him his final hours... squeezed him hand witht the waves of pain.</p><p>" I never suffere dfrom Jewish Guilt" i was happy for 8o years</p><p>BUt Doc came and said i had 48 hours to live.... something hit me...</p><p>I had everything I ever wanted.</p><p>The only thing i did not have a relationship with is my soul.</p><p>I realized that nothing else i have will matter... house... money ... boat... it all evaporated.</p><p>Now I am ready to die...</p><p>But he lived through rosh hashanah (shofar)... sukkos (lulav) </p><p>Buried as a Jew</p><p>Samantha gave her son a Bar Mitzvah</p><div><br /></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5957364259616506668.post-77608236265586951912022-10-03T10:39:00.006-07:002022-10-03T10:39:43.743-07:00airbags in your new lexus work well.<p> Sara calls her husband at work... im going into a board meeting. I have good news and bad news... the airbags in your new lexus work well.</p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5957364259616506668.post-75097027060001226442022-10-03T10:39:00.001-07:002022-10-03T10:39:01.566-07:00oy, i wish i had your will power<p> Womans is leaving her muli-million estage in beverly hills...</p><p>Poor man 'Please i have not eaten in 3 days"</p><p>Woman - oy, i wish i had your will power</p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5957364259616506668.post-24328215304776892892022-10-03T10:38:00.005-07:002022-10-03T10:38:25.469-07:00 When does life begin?<p> When does life begin?</p><p>Preist say conseption , Minister says birth, Rabbi, when kids graducate college and mortgage is paid...</p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5957364259616506668.post-27980324772082765442022-10-03T10:38:00.000-07:002022-10-03T10:38:02.604-07:00 Better one of them should die, than one of us...<p> "I can't believe it, Harold. All your life you were a good Jew! And now, in the last</p><p>few months of your life, you've converted?"</p><p>"Well," he says, "I figured it out... You</p><p>know how many gentiles there are in the world? You know how many Jews there</p><p>are in the world? Better one of them should die, than one of us..."</p><p>That's what you call a Yiddishe kop</p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5957364259616506668.post-50367781755791433132022-10-03T10:37:00.002-07:002022-10-03T10:37:21.318-07:00you really should now be thinking more of the hereafter.”<p> Rabbi Herzl was visiting Mrs Gold, an elderly member of his</p><p>congregation. Rabbi Herzl said, “You know, my dear Mrs Gold, that you</p><p>are getting on in years and although I pray to the almighty that he will</p><p>grant you many more years in good health, you really should now be</p><p>thinking more of the hereafter.”</p><p>Mrs Gold replied, “Thank you, Rabbi, but I am always thinking about</p><p>the hereafter.”</p><p>Rabbi Herzl was rather surprised with this response. “Really?” he said.</p><p>“Oh yes, Rabbi, every time I go upstairs, I say to myself, ‘what am I</p><p>here after?’ and every time I go into my kitchen, I say to myself, ‘what</p><p>am I here after?’ I do it all the time now.”</p><div><br /></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5957364259616506668.post-80315451120946076562022-10-03T10:31:00.006-07:002022-10-03T10:31:38.041-07:00"Do you think it's easy being an optimist<p> A group of elderly Jewish men meet every Wednesday for a</p><p>coffee and a chat. Usually, their discussion is very negative.</p><p>One day, Moishe surprises his friends by announcing, loud and clear, "You know what? I've now become an optimist."</p><p>But then Sam notices something isn't quite right and he says to Moishe, "Hold on a minute, if you're an optimist, why are you looking so worried?"</p><p>Moishe replies, "Do you think it's easy being an optimist</p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5957364259616506668.post-72810505038202818782022-10-03T10:29:00.001-07:002022-10-03T10:29:14.615-07:00make sure to send him a bill for your medical advice<p> David Goldberg, a seasoned doctor, turns to Harry Rabinowitz, the man seated next to him in the synagogue, and says, "Harry, you're an intelligent lawyer, I need your help."</p><p>The doctor begins his lament. "Every Shabbos," he says, "during the entire time of the service, people approach me seeking medical advice. This one has 38 stomach pains, this one's wife woke up with a headache, this guy's mother law's back hurts. I am just sick and tired of this. Shabbos is my only day of rest."</p><p>"Listen to me," says Harry. "Next guy that comes over, give him the advice heneeds, but make sure to send him a bill for your medical advice the following week. I guarantee you," says Harry, "that in no time you will have peace and quiet in the synagogue."</p><p>"Great idea!" exclaims the doctor. He returns home in a great mood.</p><p>Tuesday, as David is opening the mail, he finds a bill from his friend Harry Rabinowitz.</p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5957364259616506668.post-33097758584121316242022-10-03T10:28:00.003-07:002022-10-03T10:28:20.450-07:00"I got a 20 in math, a 30 in science, and a 50 in spelling!"<p> Shmuel Solomon was having trouble in school. That's why his father was so</p><p>pleased when Shmuel came home and reported that he got a 100% on his reportcard. "That's fantastic Shmuel!" his father said. "What course did you get it in?" "Well," said Shmuel, "I got a 20 in math, a 30 in science, and a 50 in spelling!"</p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5957364259616506668.post-44629033823033779292022-10-03T10:27:00.004-07:002022-10-03T10:27:39.774-07:00heavy house cleaning at home - passover<p> Abe goes to see his boss and says, "we're doing some heavy house</p><p>cleaning at home tomorrow for Passover and my wife needs me to help with the attic and the garage, moving and hauling stuff."</p><p>"We're short handed.</p><p>Abe," the boss replies. "I just can't give you the day off."</p><p>"Thanks, boss." says Abe, "I knew I could count on you!"</p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5957364259616506668.post-11476541190258893932022-10-03T10:26:00.005-07:002022-10-03T10:26:36.828-07:00"Second wife? Mazel tov! I didn’t know you remarried.<p> Sadly, slowly, Micha</p><p>el Cohen entered the synagogue.</p><p>He trudged into the secretary’s office and sighed, "Shmulik, I’m here."</p><p>He sat down. "I have to make arrangements for my wife’s burial.</p><p>"Cohen!" exclaimed Shmulik. "Don’t you remember?" We buried your darling wife two years ago!"</p><p>Mr Cohen nodded. "I remember, I remember. That was my first wife. I’m here about my second."</p><p>"Second wife? Mazel tov! I didn’t know you remarried.</p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5957364259616506668.post-85935637197733837182022-10-03T10:26:00.000-07:002022-10-03T10:26:03.227-07:00"Mummy, how do you spell zilla?"<p> Little 5 year old Benjy was practicing spelling on his fridge using a set of magne tic letters. Freda, his mother, had watched him put together words such as 'mum', 'dad', 'dog', 'cat' and 'car' and was very proud of her clever son. But then Benjy shouted out, "Look what I spelled, mummy."</p><p>Freda looked at the fridge and saw that he had put up the three magnetic letters, 'G' 'O' 'D'.</p><p>"Why, that's wonderful, Benjy," she said, "why don't you leave them on the fridge until daddy comes home?" "OK, mummy," he said.</p><p>But just as Freda was thinking that the Jewish school he went to was st</p><p>arting to have an impact, Benjy's little voice called out, "Mummy, how do you spell zilla?"</p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5957364259616506668.post-60386573448570638222022-10-03T10:18:00.003-07:002022-10-03T10:18:32.912-07:00"I didn't realize that Israelis read from right to left!!!<p> A disappointed Coca Cola salesman returns from his assignment to Israel. A friend asked, "Why weren't you successful with the Israelis?" The salesman explained, "When I got posted, I was very confident that I would make it. But, I had a problem. I didn't know Hebrew. So, I planne</p><p>d to convey the message via three posters. The first poster was a man lying in the hot desert sand, totally exhausted. The second poster was the man drinking the Coca Cola. The third poster was the man now totally refreshed. These posters were pasted all over the place."</p><p>"That should have worked!!" said the friend.</p><p>"The heck it should have!!" replied the salesman. "I didn't realize that Israelis read from right to left!!!</p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5957364259616506668.post-67949395320628888572022-10-03T10:17:00.002-07:002022-10-03T10:17:41.425-07:00"now that your future is assured, what about mine?"<p> Cyril was 80 years old and was visiting his psychiatrist. "Doctor, I'm suffering from a lot of anxiety. What's going to happen to me? I'm very worried about my future." "Cyril," said the doctor, "don't worry, I can help you. All you need do is come and see me twice a week for the next 3 months. My charges will be $100 a visit and you'll need to pay in advance, of course." "Okay doctor," said Cyril, "now that your future is assured, what about mine?"</p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5957364259616506668.post-19589335835400061382022-10-03T10:15:00.004-07:002022-10-03T10:15:44.883-07:00Strong Man - "I'm a fundraiser.<p> The Strongman</p><p>The local pub was so sure that its bar tender was the strongest man around that they offered a standing $1,000 bet. The barman would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran into a glass, and then hand the lemon to a customer. Anyone who could squeeze one more drop of juice out would win the money. Many people had tried over time (weight lifters, rowers, wrestlers, etc.) but nobody could do it.</p><p>One day Moshe, a scrawny little man, came into the bar. He went up to the bar tender and said in a soft voice, "I'd like to try the bet" After the laughter had died down, the barman agreed. He grabbed a lemon and</p><p>squeezed away. Then he handed the wrinkled remains of the rind to Moshe.</p><p>But the laughter turned to silence as Moshe clenched his fist around the lemon and four more drops fell into the glass.</p><p>As the crowd cheered, the barman paid the $1,000 and asked, "What do you do for a living? Are you a professional strong man, or what?"</p><p>Moshe replied, "I'm a fundraiser.</p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0