Phelps vs. Guerrouj

 Many of you are familiar with Michael Phelps, one of the greatest athletes of all time. He has won more Olympic medals than anyone in any sport, including twenty-three gold medals.

Fewer of you know Hicham El Guerrouj (hil-kom El ga-ru-j), the Moroccan athlete who, with several Olympic gold medals of his own, is one of the greatest runners of all time.

Here is a fun piece of trivia about the two men: El Guerrouj is five feet, nine inches tall. Phelps is six feet, four inches tall. Despite this seven-inch difference, the two men wear the same length pants.

How is this possible?

Phelps has short legs for his height and a very long torso, the perfect body for swimming. El Guerrouj has incredibly long legs and a short upper body, the perfect frame for distance running.

Now, imagine if these two world-class athletes were to become jealous of one another and switch sports. Michael Phelps would flop as an Olympic runner. Similarly, El Guerrouj would be a schlepper in the pool. Phelp’s long torso is a weakness for running, but he uses

4

it magnificently for swimming. El Guerrouj’s long legs are a liability when swimming, but precious assets for running.

Each of us has a similar predicament: G-d gave every child — each of us — strengths to develop and weaknesses to overcome. If we deal with them in the best possible way, if we don’t get jealous of what others have, but focus on developing our abilities in our own areas of strength, we grow into the best possible versions of ourselves, the people that G-d intended us to be. We will never be happy if we try to run when we are swimmers, or navigate a pool with the long legs of a runner. The only way to find genuine fulfillment is by recognizing who we are, as unique and idiosyncratic individuals. We can only be gold medalists in the races we were born to run.

The illiterate Jew who worked in the mosad

 Rabbi Meir Abuchatzeira (Baba Meir) was the eldest son of the Baba Sali. In 1965, he

made Aliyah from Morocco and settled in Ashdod; he was very close to Chabad, having

served for many years as the head of the Chabad Yeshiva in Midelt, Morocco.

In 1962, when he was still living in Morocco, the Israeli Mossad conducted “Operation

Yachin,” a giant effort to resettle about eighty-thousand Moroccan Jews in the Holy

Land. During that time, a Jew named Yitzchak Turgeman came Baba Meir, explaining

that he very much wanted to join the wave of people making Aliyah, but he was anxious:

He was uneducated, and completely illiterate. Unable to even read or write, how would

he support himself and get around in a new country? Baba Meir told him, “Make the trip

and don’t worry. G-d takes care of everyone and everything, and He surely knows how to

take care of you, too.” When Rabbi Meir saw that the man was still hesitant, he added,

"Know that the fact that you are illiterate will help you find a livelihood."

So it was. Like so many others, Yitzchak Turgeman immigrated to Israel, where he was

given an apartment in designated immigrant housing. It wasn’t long before he found

himself waiting on line at the employment office, where his fears started gnawing at him.

“There are so many other people here are educated, many even with university degrees.

How can I compete with anyone if I can’t even read or write?” When his turn came, he

introduced himself as a new immigrant from Morocco looking for work, and without

thinking he blurted out, “But I don’t know how to read or write.” Instantly, he regretted

it; who says such things during an employment interview? But then he remembered Baba

Meir’s promise. “Trust the words of the tzaddik” he told himself, and this put his mind at

ease.

Back in his apartment a few hours later, he received a call from the Israeli Defense

Ministry. “Come for an interview at our headquarters first thing tomorrow morning,” a

voice said tersely.” And so, at exactly seven-thirty the next morning, he arrived at the

“Kiryah” (Israeli military headquarters) in Tel Aviv. He loitered around waiting for

someone to call him for his appointment. People came and went, but nobody paid any

attention to him. He began to think someone had played a big prank on him, but at noon

a clerk approached him and called him inside. After his interview, he was informed that

he was hired for an important job: “Our national defense company Rafael develops some

of the most advanced weapons in the world; in the course of our work we accumulate a

vast amount of paperwork, which must be shredded daily. But for security purposes, we

need someone we know will not read any of the classified material before shredding it.

This whole morning, we kept an eye on you. We left newspapers and magazines lying

around, to see if you would pick one up and read it, but you didn’t. In fact, at one point

you were so bored you finally picked up a newspaper, but you held it upside down! It is

clear that you truly don’t know how to read—and that’s the kind of person we need for

this job!”

Turgeman ended up working at Rafael Industries for many years. Even when he passed

retirement age, he was kept on staff because the company couldn’t find another hire who

couldn’t read quite like him.

In Bed - Joke

 Mrs. Greenberg was teaching her first grade class about saying blessings and praying.

"For example children,” said Mrs. Greenberg “Before we go to sleep we should sing shema.

“Who here says their prayers at night?"

Little Chaim answered, "My mommy says my prayers."

"I see," said Mrs. Greenberg, "And what does your mother say?"

Chaim replied, "THANK G-D, HE'S IN BED!

Hashem Himself will help us!

 A couple once came to the Kozhnitzer Maggid and asked for a bracha for a child. “I cannot help you,” said the Maggid. Hearing this, the husband put a gold coin on the table and asked again. When the Maggid said that he still cannot help, the husband placed another coin on the table, the Maggid again refused, and this repeated itself several times. Finally, the wife scooped up all the coins, and said to her husband, “This isn’t working. Let’s leave this place. Hashem Himself will help us!” Hearing this, the Maggid’s face began to shine and he smiled and announced, “Now you will be blessed! Until now you believed that only I could help you. Once you remembered that it is Hashem Who can help you, He will truly help you and you will be blessed!” 

'Thou Shalt Not Steal'

 Murphy showed up at Mass one Sunday and the priest almost fell down when he saw him. He'd never been to church in his life.

After Mass, the priest caught up with him and said, "Murphy, I am so glad ya decided to come to Mass. What made ya come?" 

Murphy said, "I got to be honest with you Father, a while back, I misplaced me hat and I really, really love that hat. I know that McGlynn had a hat just like mine and I knew he came to church every Sunday. I also knew that he had to take off his hat during Mass and figured he would leave it in the back of the church. So, I was going to leave after Communion and steal McGlynn's hat."

Later, the priest said, "Well, Murphy, I notice that ya didn't steal McGlynn's hat. What changed your mind?" 

Murphy replied, "Well, after I heard your sermon on the 10 Commandments, I decided that I didn't need to steal McGlynn's hat after all" 

With a tear in his eye the priest gave Murphy a big smile and said, "After I talked about 'Thou Shalt Not Steal' ya decided you would rather do without  your hat than burn in hell?" 

Murphy slowly shook his head. "No, Father, after ya talked about 'Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery' I remembered where I left me hat."