Joke Which tire?

 They a story about a group of friends, who were so confident about their exams that they decided to go partying in the mountains the night before the exam. They had a great time. However, after all the partying, they slept in and missed their exam. They explained to the professor that they had gone to an old age home to spend some time with aged people, but they had a flat tire on the way back, didn't have a spare, and couldn't get help for a full day. As a result, they missed the final.

The professor thought it over and agreed they could make up the exam the following day. The professor placed them in separate rooms and handed each of them a test booklet, and told them to begin. They looked at the first problem, worth 5 points. It was the easiest question in their entire syllabus. "Cool," they thought at the same time, each one in his separate room. "This is going to be easy." Each finished the problem and then turned the page. On the second page was written: (For 95 points): Which tire?

HILTON Towel

Teddy came home from camp missing his beautiful, large, fluffy towel. The mother calls camp: You guys allow thievery. Someone stole my son’s towel. You guys should be ashamed of yourself and close down your camp.

The camp director responds: Relax. Nobody stole it. It was probably lost. Let me search for it. Would it have any identifying sign on it?

She says, of course. It says in big words: HILTON.

The lie detector

 Moscowitz decides there is too much lying in his home. So he buys a lie detector, an AI robot that beeps every time someone utters a lie.

That night, mom asks their daughter Shirley, “did you clean up your room? Last time I checked, it looked like a hurricane hit it?”

Of course, mom! My room is spotless.

--Beep!

ooops… Yes, mom, I was actually on tic-tac.

Okay. Timmy, mom says, have you done your school work tonight? You have a big exam coming up!

--Of course, mom!

 --Beep!

Oops…. mom, I was actually watching a movie.

Was it an appropriate and clean movie?           

--Of course, mom.

Beep!

Dad is outraged. “I never watched such inappropriate stuff when I was your age.”

Beep!

Mom looks at dad and says: Well, he’s certainly your son.

Dead man walk through door

A defendant was on trial for murder. There was strong evidence indicating guilt,
but there was no corpse. In the defense's closing statement the lawyer, knowing
that his client would probably be convicted, resorted to a trick.
"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I have a surprise for you all," the lawyer said as
he looked at his watch. "Within one minute, the person presumed dead in this case
will walk into this courtroom." He looked toward the courtroom door. The jurors,
somewhat stunned, all looked on eagerly. A minute passed. Nothing happened.
Finally the lawyer said, "Actually, I made up the previous statement. But, you all
looked on with anticipation. I therefore put to you that you have a reasonable doubt
in this case as to whether anyone was killed and insist that you return a verdict of
not guilty."
The jury, clearly confused, retired to deliberate. He really caught them! A few
minutes later, the jury returned and pronounced a verdict of guilty.
"But how?" inquired the lawyer. "You must have had some doubt; I saw all of you
stare at the door."
The jury foreman replied, "Oh, we all looked, but your client didn't."