The illiterate Jew who worked in the mosad

 Rabbi Meir Abuchatzeira (Baba Meir) was the eldest son of the Baba Sali. In 1965, he

made Aliyah from Morocco and settled in Ashdod; he was very close to Chabad, having

served for many years as the head of the Chabad Yeshiva in Midelt, Morocco.

In 1962, when he was still living in Morocco, the Israeli Mossad conducted “Operation

Yachin,” a giant effort to resettle about eighty-thousand Moroccan Jews in the Holy

Land. During that time, a Jew named Yitzchak Turgeman came Baba Meir, explaining

that he very much wanted to join the wave of people making Aliyah, but he was anxious:

He was uneducated, and completely illiterate. Unable to even read or write, how would

he support himself and get around in a new country? Baba Meir told him, “Make the trip

and don’t worry. G-d takes care of everyone and everything, and He surely knows how to

take care of you, too.” When Rabbi Meir saw that the man was still hesitant, he added,

"Know that the fact that you are illiterate will help you find a livelihood."

So it was. Like so many others, Yitzchak Turgeman immigrated to Israel, where he was

given an apartment in designated immigrant housing. It wasn’t long before he found

himself waiting on line at the employment office, where his fears started gnawing at him.

“There are so many other people here are educated, many even with university degrees.

How can I compete with anyone if I can’t even read or write?” When his turn came, he

introduced himself as a new immigrant from Morocco looking for work, and without

thinking he blurted out, “But I don’t know how to read or write.” Instantly, he regretted

it; who says such things during an employment interview? But then he remembered Baba

Meir’s promise. “Trust the words of the tzaddik” he told himself, and this put his mind at

ease.

Back in his apartment a few hours later, he received a call from the Israeli Defense

Ministry. “Come for an interview at our headquarters first thing tomorrow morning,” a

voice said tersely.” And so, at exactly seven-thirty the next morning, he arrived at the

“Kiryah” (Israeli military headquarters) in Tel Aviv. He loitered around waiting for

someone to call him for his appointment. People came and went, but nobody paid any

attention to him. He began to think someone had played a big prank on him, but at noon

a clerk approached him and called him inside. After his interview, he was informed that

he was hired for an important job: “Our national defense company Rafael develops some

of the most advanced weapons in the world; in the course of our work we accumulate a

vast amount of paperwork, which must be shredded daily. But for security purposes, we

need someone we know will not read any of the classified material before shredding it.

This whole morning, we kept an eye on you. We left newspapers and magazines lying

around, to see if you would pick one up and read it, but you didn’t. In fact, at one point

you were so bored you finally picked up a newspaper, but you held it upside down! It is

clear that you truly don’t know how to read—and that’s the kind of person we need for

this job!”

Turgeman ended up working at Rafael Industries for many years. Even when he passed

retirement age, he was kept on staff because the company couldn’t find another hire who

couldn’t read quite like him.

In Bed - Joke

 Mrs. Greenberg was teaching her first grade class about saying blessings and praying.

"For example children,” said Mrs. Greenberg “Before we go to sleep we should sing shema.

“Who here says their prayers at night?"

Little Chaim answered, "My mommy says my prayers."

"I see," said Mrs. Greenberg, "And what does your mother say?"

Chaim replied, "THANK G-D, HE'S IN BED!

Hashem Himself will help us!

 A couple once came to the Kozhnitzer Maggid and asked for a bracha for a child. “I cannot help you,” said the Maggid. Hearing this, the husband put a gold coin on the table and asked again. When the Maggid said that he still cannot help, the husband placed another coin on the table, the Maggid again refused, and this repeated itself several times. Finally, the wife scooped up all the coins, and said to her husband, “This isn’t working. Let’s leave this place. Hashem Himself will help us!” Hearing this, the Maggid’s face began to shine and he smiled and announced, “Now you will be blessed! Until now you believed that only I could help you. Once you remembered that it is Hashem Who can help you, He will truly help you and you will be blessed!” 

'Thou Shalt Not Steal'

 Murphy showed up at Mass one Sunday and the priest almost fell down when he saw him. He'd never been to church in his life.

After Mass, the priest caught up with him and said, "Murphy, I am so glad ya decided to come to Mass. What made ya come?" 

Murphy said, "I got to be honest with you Father, a while back, I misplaced me hat and I really, really love that hat. I know that McGlynn had a hat just like mine and I knew he came to church every Sunday. I also knew that he had to take off his hat during Mass and figured he would leave it in the back of the church. So, I was going to leave after Communion and steal McGlynn's hat."

Later, the priest said, "Well, Murphy, I notice that ya didn't steal McGlynn's hat. What changed your mind?" 

Murphy replied, "Well, after I heard your sermon on the 10 Commandments, I decided that I didn't need to steal McGlynn's hat after all" 

With a tear in his eye the priest gave Murphy a big smile and said, "After I talked about 'Thou Shalt Not Steal' ya decided you would rather do without  your hat than burn in hell?" 

Murphy slowly shook his head. "No, Father, after ya talked about 'Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery' I remembered where I left me hat."

Paid in full, with one glass of milk

As a young man, Howard Kelly was hiking in the woods, when he grew weary, hungry, and
thirsty. He stopped at the next house and asked for a drink of water. The beautiful girl who
opened the door thought he could use more than a glass of water, so she graciously brought him a
large glass of milk. He drank it slowly, and then asked, "How much do I owe you?" "You don't
owe me anything," she replied. "Mother has taught us never to accept pay for a kindness." Kelly
replied, "Then I thank you from my heart.".
Year's later the young woman fell ill, and the local doctors sent her to the big city, where they
called in specialists to study her disease. Dr. Howard Kelly was called in for consultation and he
recognized her at once. He went back to the consultation room determined to do his best to save
her life. After a long struggle, the battle was won, and her life was saved. Dr. Kelly requested the
business office to pass the final bill to him for approval.
He looked at it, wrote something on the edge and the bill was sent to her room. She was afraid to
look at it for she was sure it would take the rest of her life to pay the bill. Finally, she looked, and
something caught her attention on the side of the bill. She read these words. . .
";Paid in full, with one glass of milk"

A wealthy Jew dies

A wealthy Jew dies  -and in his will leaves millions of dollars for various organizations and for his family and friends. At the funeral, the Rabbi notices some stranger weeping uncontrollably. "Why are you crying so intensely? Were you related to the man?" asked the Rabbi. "No,” came the reply. "So why are you so distraught?" "Well, as I just said, because I wasn’t related to the man.”

Gratitude

Two old friends met each other on the street one day.  One looked forlorn, almost on the verge of tears.  His friend asked, ?What has the world done to you, my old friend??

The sad fellow said, ?Let me tell you:  three weeks ago, my uncle died and left me forty thousand dollars.?
?That?s a lot of money.?
?But you see, two weeks ago, a cousin I never even knew died, and left me eighty-five thousand dollars, free and clear.?
?Sounds to me that you?ve been very blessed.?
?You don?t understand!? he interrupted.  ?Last week my great-aunt passed away.  I inherited almost a quarter of a million from her.?
Now the man?s friend was confused.  ?Then, why do you look so glum??
?This week . . . nothing!?