The Elderly Carpenter Life is a 'Do-it-Yourself' project

The Elderly Carpenter Life is a 'Do-it-Yourself' project

An elderly carpenter was ready to retire. He told his employer-contractor of his plans to leave the house-building business and live a leisurely life with his wife enjoying his extended family. He would miss the paycheck, but he needed to retire. They could get by.

The contractor was sorry to see his good worker go and asked if he could build just one more house as a personal favor. The carpenter said yes, but in time it was easy to see that his heart was not in his work. He resorted to shoddy workmanship and used inferior materials. It was an unfortunate way to end a dedicated career.

When the carpenter finished his work the employer came to inspect the house. He handed the front-door key to the carpenter. "This is your house," he said, "my gift to you."

The carpenter was shocked! What a shame! If he had only known he was building his own house, he would have done it all so differently.

So it is with us. We build our lives, a day at a time, often putting less than our best into the building, then with a shock we realize we have to live in the house we have built. If we could do it over, we'd do it much differently. But we cannot go back.

You are the carpenter. Each day you hammer a nail, place a board, or erect a wall. "Life is a do-it-yourself project," someone has said. Your attitudes and the choices you make today, build the "house" you live in tomorrow.

Stress

A lecturer when explaining stress management to an audience,Raised a glass of water and asked'How heavy is this glass of water?'Answers called out ranged from 20g to 500g.The lecturer replied, 'The absolute weight doesn't matter.It depends on how long you try to hold it.If I hold it f or a minute, that's not a problem.If I hold it for an hour, I'll have an ache in my right arm.If I hold it for a day, you'll have to call an ambulance.In each case, it's the same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes.'He continued,
'And that's the way it is with stress management.If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later,As the burden becomes increasingly heavy,We won't be able to carry on. ''As with the glass of water,You have to put it down for a while and rest before holding it again.When we're refreshed, we can carry on with the burden.''So, before you return home tonight, put the burden of work down.Don't carry it home.You can pick it up tomorrow.Whatever burdens you're
carrying now,Let them down for a moment if you can.'So, my friend, Put down anything that may be a burden to you right now.Don't pick it up again until after you've rested a while.

Under Pressure

Under Pressure
submitted by: Miriam Horowitz
An old man once entered an insurance office and asked to take out a life
insurance. "We're sorry," he was told, "We don't give life insurances to
anyone over 80 years old".
"That's not fair," the man protested, "you just gave one to my father last
week!"
"Your father?" was the incredulous reply, "we must check that out. What was
his name?" They investigated the matter and sure enough, it appeared that
they had, indeed, given this old man's father a life insurance.
"Well," said the administrator, "If we gave your father an insurance policy,
it is only fair that we give you one as well. We'll have to set up a date
for you to come by and sign the policy. Is next Tuesday good for you?"
"No", said the old man, "I can't come next Tuesday, my grandfather is
getting married."
"Your grandfather?!?"
"Yes. But actually, he doesn't really want to get married but his parents
are putting pressure on him"!

Joke - A wealthy Jew dies

A wealthy Jew dies and in his will leaves millions of dollars for various organizations and for his family and friends. At the funeral, the Rabbi notices some stranger weeping uncontrollably. "Why are you crying so intensely? Were you related to the man?" asked the Rabbi. "No,” came the reply. "So why are you so distraught?" "Well, as I just said, because I wasn’t related to the man.”

the exam.

They a story about a group of friends, who were so confident about their exams that they decided to go partying in the mountains the night before the exam. They had a great time. However, after all the partying, they slept in and missed their exam. They explained to the professor that they had gone to an old age home to spend some time with aged people, but they had a flat tire on the way back, didn't have a spare, and couldn't get help for a full day. As a result, they missed the final.

The professor thought it over and agreed they could make up the exam the following day. The

professor placed them in separate rooms and handed each of them a test booklet, and told them to begin. They looked at the first problem, worth 5 points. It was the easiest question in their entire syllabus. "Cool," they thought at the same time, each one in his separate room. "This is going to be easy." Each finished the problem and then turned the page. On the second page was written:

(For 95 points): Which tire?

The comedian

A man once came to a psychologist and complained that the pressures of life were so terrific that he
was battling depression and even suicidal tendencies. The psychologist replied that there is a comedy
club down the road that features a comedian so funny and joyful that no matter how depressed you
are, this comedian will lift you up.
That is all fine and good, replied the patient, but there is one problem. The comedian who is meant to
lift me up. . . is none other than me!

JK: no Jews in hell

A Jewish bubbie was sipping tea in a restaurant when she overheard three antisemites talking.
‘Let’s go on vacation,’ said one.
‘Where shall we go,’ said the other.
‘To Jerusalem.’
‘No, there are too many Jews in Jerusalem.’
‘To New York?’
‘No, there are too many Jews in New York.’
‘To Florida.’
‘No, there are way too many Jews in Florida.’
The Bubbie leaned over and asked, “Vhy don’t you go to hell, there are no Jews in hell!”